She keeps me warm
by Jasmk16
Summary: "I-I'd tell her that she has a beautiful smile and how much I love the sound of h-her laugh. I'd tell her that I want her to be happy. That I know that'll never happen with me but as long as she's h-happy, I-I'm h-happy. I'd rather be just f-friends than spend another second without her in m-my life but I'd stay away from her if it meant she'd be happy again."
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer**: I do not own OUAT nor any of the characters. The following is strictly fan-based and of the jasmk16 imagination.**

**Captain Swan is non existent in the universe!**

**Swan Queen story! ;)**

I know it's been a while since I posted something up. Meant to post this up a while back but school has kept me under the water lately. This is divided into two parts and the second half should (**WILL**) be up by tomorrow)

Hope you enjoy!

**Part 1 of 2**

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><p>"<em><strong>There is no worse hell than to remember vividly a kiss that never occurred," <strong>_**Richard Brautigan**

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><p>The warmth radiating from the fireplace felt comforting against her skin. Despite the power shortage Regina had found that the light the fire created was all the lighting she needed. She had a backup generator, she had her magic to restore the power in the house but the fire, the sound of wood burning, was enough to keep her warm and distract her. It was enough to help her forget that for that moment she wasn't hurting.<p>

Yet as she sat in front of the burning wood Regina couldn't help but feel an emptiness inside her, a strange cold that despite the strong flames and the amount of wood burning could not warm her. She couldn't quite place the feeling. Couldn't understand why she felt so cold. Yes she was still feeling the sting Robin Hood had inflicted upon choosing his wife, but that wasn't what was causing the chill inside her. It wasn't what was making her feel so empty and cold.

She'd spoken to Henry earlier that day. She'd assured him she loved him whole heartily and that what she was going through had nothing to do with him. It wasn't Henry or the man she'd dated for a few weeks. They weren't the ones causing the numbing cold inside.

Regina stared hard at the fire trying to ignore the dreading feeling. Perhaps it was the absence of the infuriating sheriff. At least three weeks had passed since she'd last acknowledged the woman's existence. Since the night at the diner Regina had been avoiding the woman like a plague. She only saw Henry in the short moments that he would stop by after school to have dinner with her. Emma was the one who stopped by to pick him up after her shift each evening. Knowing Regina wanted nothing to do with her though the woman would respectfully remain in her car each time. Regina had noticed the woman would park her car so as to have no view to where the driver sat.

Was she the one who had created the numbness inside her? Was she the reason felt so cold and lonely? Emma had strayed away. She'd stopped knocking at her door, pleading that Regina let her in. She'd stopped waking her up each morning with a banging at her door.

At one point Regina had been ready to put an end to ignoring the woman when she heard the sobbing savior begging her to speak to her, yell at her, curse her. Anything was better than the cruel silence. Emma had cried for over an hour at her door. Eventually though she stopped. She stopped knocking, she stopped begging; she just stopped.

Regina could still hear the woman's crying in the back of her mind. She closed her eyes and shook her head reminding herself why she was upset with the woman. Why she was refusing to call her let alone speak to her. The only person she'd begun to trust had taken her last chance at happiness right from underneath her and for that Regina could not bear to look at her, speak to her. Not yet. She needed more time.

A loud banging from the front door startled her out of her thoughts.

"Regina! Regina, please open up! Open the door!"

Regina ignored the banging and continued to stare at the fire.

"Regina please!"

She recognized the voice and knew if she ignored it long enough they would leave.

"Damn it Regina open up!"

Fuming with anger Regina made her way to the entrance and swung her front door open to find the one handed pirate and the Sheriff's deputy standing on her porch.

"What could you two fools possibly want at this hour?" Regina growled. She crossed her arms a clear annoyance crossing her face as she did her best not to shiver from chill in the late evening.

David was quick to answer, a crazed look lighting his eyes. "It's Emma. She needs you," he began.

Regina rolled her eyes and moved to close the door. "I don't have time for your pathetic adventures, Charming. You tell your daughter I have no interest in neither seeing nor speaking to her."

David stepped up quickly blocking the door from closing with his foot. "She's trapped under ice with the woman who caused this storm. She's caught underneath the freezing ice and we need to get her out before− Please. She's running out of time, Regina. We need, _she_ needs your helps."

Regina felt the cold chill again, the numbness. It had nothing to do with the cool night and everything to do with the infuriating woman. Emma was in trouble. _Idiot_ was all Regina could think. What had the woman found in herself in now?

David was looking at her with wild pleading eyes. The man had never once asked for her help, he'd never looked so desperate, not even when the woman he loved had been near death. His daughter was in danger; she was caught beneath a layer of ice on this cold night.

"She's in trouble, Regina." Hook finally spoke. "You're the only one who can help her now. Please."

_Emma_ was caught underneath ice in the middle of the storm. Emma, the woman who brought back the wife of the man she _almost_ had a happy ending with; the woman who had time after time stood up for her when the rest of the town had continued to believe she could not change. The woman who had cried at her door step for days begging her to say something, anything, to talk to her. Despite how infuriating the woman could be she was not a bad person. She did not deserve to freeze to death.

Regina's mouthed opened and closed. The anger she'd been feeling moments ago nowhere to be found as she realized Emma's life was at risk. She could freeze to death. Regina was silent for a moment. Her arms tightened around herself as she contemplated her next words.

"Where is she now?"

**~SQ~**

Emma groaned as she moved to get up. She cried out as she leaned all her weight on to right side only to fall over once more as tears filled her eyes from the pain. Her entire right side hurt. Just inhaling caused her ribs to ache immensely. As she attempted to sit up the piercing pain from her left leg caused her to fall back as she screamed in pain. Her eyes closed tightly as she struggled to even her breathing. What the hell had happened? One second she'd been trying to talk to the strange blonde woman and the next thing she knew the walls were collapsing around them.

Managing to push herself up on her arms Emma caught a glimpse of her leg. The entire calf of her jeans was covered with blood. "Shit," Emma hissed and she lay back on her back. How the hell had she gotten herself into this mess?

"Are you alright?"

Emma slowly opened her eyes and found the young frightened woman from earlier kneeling beside her.

"You're okay," Emma smiled surprising the concerned woman. "What happened?" She moved to sit up but quickly regretted the movement when again the pain from her leg reminded her of the injury. She managed to sit up, breathing heavily as she struggled to refrain from screaming.

"You need to stop moving," Elsa told her.

Emma groaned and reached a hand up to touch her forehead, hissing once more in pain. Her fingers were covered in blood. "Shit," she growled. "That can't be good."

The woman looked around their surroundings and frowned when she met worried green eyes. "You startled me and the walls collapsed around us. We're trapped beneath a rather thick piece of ice." She offered an apologetic look.

Emma understood it had been the woman who had caused the walls to cave in over them. The temperature was dropping too quickly for her to really think about anything. "Aren't you c-cold?" Emma was shivering. She tugged the sleeves of her jacket seeking for more warmth.

Elsa shook her head. "The cold doesn't bother me." She watched as Emma continued to shiver and wrap herself tightly with her arms. Her leg injury looked pretty bad. She couldn't quite make out how bad the wound was but if the blood surrounding it was anything to go by it wasn't a good sign.

"Y-you said your name was Elsa," Emma managed. Her lips were trembling, quickly fading into a blue color. "Y-you created this ice wall. Can't you remove it? Reverse the spell?"

Elsa looked down at her hands and frowned. "I'm afraid not." Again her eyes travelled to the blood pooling around Emma's leg.

"W-why not?" Emma was freezing. The headache and stinging coming from her leg weren't making it any easier.

Elsa looked up again. The woman was trembling hard. She didn't know what to do. It was her fault they were in the situation. She had to find a way to get them out of it. "I've never really had much control of my powers. My sister she…she usually helps me control it."

Emma looked down at her hands. "I-I have magic, too. Not the easiest s-sport." She offered an understanding smile.

"You have magic," Elsa stared in awe.

The radio made a static sound, startling the young woman.

"That's just m-my radio. Don't worry." Emma answered through clattering teeth. "And y-yes I have magic," She appeared a bit pale, shivering violently from the freezing temperature. "I c-can't c-concentrate enough to use it now, but I do." She rocked back and forth in attempt to find or create any sort of heat. Anything was helpful. Emma checked the radio and attempted to make a call only to find it had no range of signal.

Elsa watched her carefully as the woman continued to bleed out. "We need to stop the bleeding, Emma."

The temperature was so unbearable Emma had grown distracted from the pain in her leg. She'd almost forgotten her leg was sliced open and bleeding freely. "I-I can't take off my jacket. It's too c-cold." There was a hint of annoyance in her tone. Not with the woman, but more so with herself. She couldn't believe she buried underneath ice walls. She was an idiot. Her good intentions always led her to trouble.

The sound of fabric tearing caught the sheriff's attention. Elsa ripped the end of her cape. 'This is going to hurt," Elsa warned. She carefully moved the leg to gain enough leverage for the fabric to hook beneath it.

Emma hissed as she felt the fabric stick to the raw areas of her injured leg. "Fuck!" She bit her lip. It hurt. It fucking hurt like a bitch. She had to look away as Elsa continued to wrap her leg.

"What is this place?" Elsa asked attempting to distract the woman.

"S-Storybrooke," Emma managed. "I don't mean to sound rude but w-what are you doing here? Y-you don't look like you're f-from around h-here." The tears pooling in green eyes were ignored by both women. It was awkward enough in their current position.

Elsa let out a small chuckle. She clasped her hands together and sighed. She finished wrapping the sheriff's leg but remained by the woman's feet. "I'm looking for my sister Anna. I need to find her." A sudden sadness crossed the blue eyes, a sadness that Emma knew all too much.

They showed the loneliness and emptiness that Emma had felt back in the system and during her time in jail. The feeling of emptiness, like something deep inside her was missing. Emma had felt it after she'd given Henry up. It was a dreadful feeling missing someone. It was like missing someone who didn't want her, someone who refused to acknowledge her existence and couldn't even bear to look at her. It was an awful feeling.

Painful. Lonely.

"Sh-she's here in Storybrooke?" Emma asked with a hopeful smile. The pressure of the fabric had worked enough to relief some pain.

"I can't be certain. I'm not even sure how I got here, but if there is any chance that she is in this town, in this _Storybrooke_ I will do anything I can to find her," Elsa assured her.

Emma noticed the way her hands began to frost over from the emotions the woman was bearing. She felt the temperature drop but remained silent as she watched the determined blue eyes stare her down.

"Hey," Emma gently said as she carefully reached for one of Elsa's arms. The ice slowly faded away from Elsa's hands.

Emma tilted her head slightly to the side to meet the sharp blue eyes. "I g-get it. She's your sister and we'll do our best to help you, Elsa. No one in this t-town wants to hurt you. I-I'm the sh-sheriff and I p-promise you we'll do what we can to help you f-find your s-sister." Emma couldn't bear the cold any more. She was feeling too lightheaded. "It-it's c-cold. I'm just going to lie down for a bit." She leaned on her side curling her body into itself to retain the heat that remained in her body.

Elsa was quick to move and followed the sheriff's movement on the ground. "Emma, Emma you can't fall asleep. You need to stay awake." Elsa looked around in panic. "Tell me more about this Storybrooke. What is it like?"

Emma smiled lazily and cracked open her eyes to look at the frightened woman. "It's a s-small town. M-my son, H-Henry was r-raised here by his mother. She's the m-mayor. She's a good woman d-despite what others will tell you."

Elsa could sense this mayor was very important to the sheriff; the gentle smile across the woman's lips gave her away. "And why do you think that despite her reputations belief?"

"Regina c-can be stubborn b-but she's n-not evil. She's been hurt a lot and well the way she re-reacted a long t-time ago didn't exactly make the townspeople her f-fans." Emma squeezed her eyes shut. The cold was making the aching of her bones unbearable. It was making it difficult to breathe without hurting. She could hardly feel her leg. "She's n-not that woman anymore."

Elsa ran her hand over the Emma's back to try and emit some kind of heat. "You seem to care rather much for this Regina," Elsa smirked. "Is there something going on between two of you?"

Emma chuckled opening her eyes once more. She couldn't feel her cheeks anymore, more so her face really. "She's not a big fan of me these d-days so I doubt that's p-possible."

"Why not?" Elsa continued to run her hand over Emma's back ignoring the static sounds the radio was making.

Emma only frowned. Her heart ached from the memory of the last time she'd spoken with the woman. The way Regina had looked at her at the burned in the back of her mind. The tearful brown eyes had been filled not only with tears but with such disappointment and betrayal it felt like the weight of them alone could smother Emma.

She'd been so wrong for thinking she could help someone without there being consequences. She had not considered how the woman's existence would throw off the time line, more so affect Regina's life. She ruined the chance Regina had to have a happy ending with Robin. Emma had not been aware of their relationship. She'd noticed the way the mayor had been acting giddy, but she had never looked much into it. Of course after discovering they were indeed seeing each other Emma recalled the sinking feeling she'd felt in her chest. But that didn't matter now. It didn't matter at all.

Regina was in the right to be upset with her. Emma was stupid, impulsive, and naïve. Just like her mother indeed. No matter what she did to try and help it always fired back at her. She knew that. Previous experiences had proven it, as did her current case.

The radio beside her made a static sound again. She sighed, a puff of smoke leaving her blue lips as she looked up at the ceiling. It soothed her; helped her forget she was slowly freezing to death. This was it for her. She was going to freeze to death without having properly apologized to Regina for making her life such a pain. The last memory of the woman would be the look of such disbelief and hurt in brown eyes. She would never have the chance to tell the woman the truth. She hated herself for hurting her. She'd never meant to do but no matter her intentions she had. She'd hurt the woman she loved and would have to die with that acknowledgment.

Elsa could see the sadness in the green eyes. Emma curled further into herself as she finally spoke again, her response small. "All I d-do is hurt her. I mean well b-but I just hurt her _so_ much. I'm no good for her. I'm no good for a-anyone."

**~SQ~**

The wall of ice was impossible break down. Fireball after fireball had failed to penetrate the frozen structure.

"We're running out of time, Regina! We need to do something," David was growing impatient. He paced back in forth trying to figure out what could be keeping the wall from cracking even a little.

"I'm trying!" Regina growled. Her hands curled into fists from frustration. She'd been trying for the last half hour to burn down the wall but all the wall seemed to do was rebuild itself with a thicker layer of ice each time. "Unless you have some other bright idea I suggest you shut the hell up." Her eyes were dark as she glared at the shepherd. "I am aware we're running out of time and reminding me is not helping. Go help your little friend dig with his hook or something. But do _not _attempt to interrupt me again," she snapped. "You either help me or get out of my way."

David shook his head and walked away from the pirate who continued to hit the wall with his hook. He was growing anxious. Emma had been under the ice for too long. The radio he had clipped to his belt made a crackling sound. They'd refused to pay any attention to it after they realized they had little to no reception with it.

Regina ignored the static sound and returned her attention to the wall. A familiar voice reached the mic and caused the three to cease their actions and pay close attention as David raised the radio between them.

"_All I d-do is hurt her. I mean well b-but I just hurt her _so_ much. I'm no good for her. I'm no good for an-anyone."_

David laughed with relief as did Hook. Regina on the other hand was stunned with silence. Emma was alive. She was still alive. The back of her mind grew curious about her comment. Who was she referring to? Did she mean her? She took the radio from the prince, shoving his hand aside when he tried to take it back. Before Regina could press her thumb to speak she was left breathless by what she heard next.

"_You love her."_

**~SQ~**

It dawned on Elsa and she couldn't help but smile as she realized why the woman was so defensive of the mayor. "You love her."

Emma smiled sadly, "with all my heart." Her breathing was beginning to grow slow and heavy.

"Then why do you look so sad?" Elsa frowned. She'd noticed how the woman's demeanor had quickly faltered.

"I only make her life miserable. It-it's all I've done from d-day one. She doesn't want _me_. She won't ever want me." Emma was shaking hard. Her blue lips trembled violently as she spoke. The freezing temperature turned the tears at the corner of green eyes into ice. "I-I just want her to be happy." She groaned in pain and closed her eyes. "Er… I'm t-tired," she sighed. A puff of breath left her lips as she exhaled. "I'm just go-going to take a nap."

"Emma you can't give up. We'll get out of here. You're going to be okay," Elsa insisted. "We're going to get out of here, Emma and you are going to tell Regina how you feel. But you need to stay awake." Elsa urged the sheriff. "You've lost too much blood."

Emma smiled, her green eyes bearly cracking open. "I've never been a fan of the c-cold," she chuckled trying to change the subject. "But y-you're okay." Her smile was weak. She glanced up at the ice ceiling a faint glowing light shining in her eyes. "Y-you're my friend."

Elsa smiled at Emma's words. She squeezed the sheriff's hand between both of hers. "And we're going to stay friends for a long time. We'll find my sister and you'll be friends with her, too."

The temperature must have dropped again. Emma could feel it in her bones as they continued to ache. All she wanted to do was sleep. She felt so tired. Sleep sounded good. Sleep was good.

"What would you tell Regina now if you could?" Elsa asked desperately. She had a determined look in her eyes. She had to keep the woman she'd entrapped beneath the ice awake. She wasn't about to let her die like this.

Emma groaned and shuffled in her position to wrap her jacket around her chest "You're p-pretty persistent y-you know?" She furrowed her brows. "Don't know if I like that," she muttered.

Elsa raised a questioning brow and Emma rolled her eyes. "I-I'd tell her that I'm s-sorry for all the times I've hurt her. Th-that I didn't mean to ruin her chance at a happy ending and that all I want is for her to be happy." Her voice cracked and grew softer and softer as she spoke. "I-I'd tell her that she has a beautiful smile and how much I love the sound of h-her laugh. I'd tell her that I want her to be happy. That I know that'll never happen with me but as long as she's h-happy, I-I'm h-happy. I'd rather be just f-friends than spend another second without her in m-my life but I'd stay away from her if it meant she'd be happy again."

The sincerity in her voice both amazed and saddened Elsa. The woman was willing to step aside and swallow her feelings so that the woman she loved could find happiness even if it wasn't with her.

"I-I'd tell her how sad it makes me when she calls me Miss Swan_,_" Emma's lips twitched up into a small smile. "Sh-she does it to rile me up and …I didn't always mind it but when she says it n-now …" Emma was silent for a moment. "It makes me sad." Her eyes closed.

A shiver ran through Emma as she let out a violent cough. She hugged her ribs and whimpered in pain as she accidently moved her injured leg. "D-Doesn't matter anyway. S-she hates me." She looked sickly pale and her lips were full on blue now. Another shiver ran through her. Her sight was growing out of focus. "I n-need to sleep n-now," she managed with a tired smile.

"Emma!" Elsa shook the sheriff but received no response. "Emma, wake up!"

"_Emma can you hear me?" _The voice of a woman questioning sounded through the radio.

The radio lay at arm length from where Emma was. She was curled into herself as she tried to control the trembling of her body.

Elsa reached for the radio and shook the woman once more. "Emma! Emma, Regina is here! It's Regina." Elsa could only hope the woman on the other side was really Regina.

"R-Regina?" Emma's arm stretched over to grab the radio. "Regina is that r-really you?" Her words were soft, the dryness of her throat making it difficult to speak. Her eyes were barely cracked open.

"_Yes Miss- Emma. It's me. I'm here with your father. Are you hurt?"_

"_I'm here too," they heard Hook say._

Emma couldn't help but laugh. She winced as her ribs ached at the expansion of her lungs.

_"Shut it." _Regina hissed no doubt at the pirate._ "Emma we're doing everything we can to get through this layer of ice." _Regina was silent for a moment._ "It's a different kind of magic...an enchanted ice which is why I cannot just magically appear there to help you out or melt it with my fire. But we're working on it. I assure you." _There was a hint of emotions her voice carried. It was hardly there but Emma noticed it.

Emma hummed into the radio. She couldn't believe Regina was really there. That she was willing trying to help her. "I'm s-so happy to h-hear your voice." Her hand clasped the radio tightly to herself as another shiver ran through her body, but despite the cold Emma smiled. The joy of hearing Regina's voice filled her with unfamiliar warmth. "Thank you," she whispered. "And I'm okay. E-Elsa is here w-with me."

"_Are you _hurt_, Miss Swan?"_ Regina asked once more.

"E-Emma, my n-name is Emma and it's just a few bruises and sc-scratches." Despite the attempted annoyance Elsa could see the affect Regina was having on the woman.

The line was silent for a long moment. Emma rested her head down, her shoulders hanging low with exhaustion. Elsa eyed the woman carefully. From what she could see the way Regina was addressing meant a lot to Emma more than the woman was actually letting on.

"_Emma,"_ Regina's voice was gentle. _"We're going to get you out. It'll be alright. Just…hang on okay? Henry needs you and I..." _Her voice cracked. "_You just need to stay awake."_

"I-I'm sorry," Emma managed through clattering teeth. "I _do_ w-want you to have a happy ending. And I'm so s-sorry for hurting you." Her words sounded slurred. She'd lost too much blood, the fabric wrapped around her leg was completely crimson.

"_Emma we can talk about this later. You need to listen to me." _Regina sounded desperate, afraid. Emma had only heard her sound like that when it had concerned Henry.

She glanced up at Elsa with glassy eyes before returning her gaze to the radio. "Always so demanding," Emma chuckled tiredly. "I-I just need y-you to know that I-" The radio was losing reception and cut off the sheriff's last words.

"_Emma? Emma?! Answer me! I demand you answer me, Miss Swan!"_

**~SQ~**

When no response was heard soon after Regina quickly grew pale with fear of the worst.

"Emma?" Regina tried. "Emma?! Answer me, Emma! I demand you answer me, Miss Swan!"

David stared at her with disbelieving eyes and Hook stood with his mouth open, speechless for once.

Regina felt her blood run cold. Was it too late? Was Emma…she couldn't be. No. She couldn't be. They still so much to discuss. There were too many unsaid words. No. It wasn't Emma's time. Regina wouldn't allow it. She stared down at the radio for a moment before tossing it aside. She took a step back and braced herself. She felt her chest burning. Her hands began to glow with flames radiating around them. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes in deep concentration as she braced herself. Her hands settled in front of her as a ball of fire began to form.

Before David could move to speak to her the burst of flame collide with the wall of ice. The force of the fire caused the pirate and the prince to fall back. Regina remained standing as the smoke began to disappear.

The fire had made. It burned a giant hole straight through the wall. The ice cleared out exposing the two women who had been trapped inside it. Regina could have cried from the joy she felt seeing the large hole the fire had finally managed to make but the feeling was quickly replaced with fear when brown eyes found where the sheriff lay, a pool of blood beneath her feet.

"Emma," Regina breathed.

A woman wearing a blue dress who Regina could assume was the cause of the storm and went by the name of Elsa had her arms protectively wrapped around the young woman. Regina wasted no time making her way to where they were on the frozen pavement.

"Emma? Emma!" Regina ran to the blonde woman carrying the unmoving sheriff, Hook and David not far behind her. "Emma!" She kneeled before the woman and gathered her into her arms. "Please wake up. You need to wake up."

She was ice cold, her skin too pale to recognize as the radiant woman. Her lips were a sick blue that made Regina's stomach drop with panic. She was too still for the mayor's liking, too silent for her own good. It wasn't like Emma Swan to be so still and so silent. Brown eyes travelled down to the source of blood. The wrapping around her leg was completely covered with the crimson liquid.

"What the hell happened to her leg?" Hook growled. He looked over at Elsa, glaring at the woman. His friend had been injured in the cross fire. He was about to give her a piece of his mind but the overwhelming desperation in the mayor's voice startled him.

"Please wake up, Emma. You need to wake up darling. Wake up." Tears were blurring the pleading brown eyes. She pressed the woman as close to herself as she could to warm her up. "Emma please_,_ _please_ don't do this. Don't do this to me." Regina had tears slipping down her cheeks as she rocked the woman back and forth on her lap. "Wake up," she whispered.

Elsa hovered just beside the group. Tears filled the blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Emma," she whispered.

The mayor felt anger flare inside her. How dare the woman even speak her name? _She_ was the one who had caused this to happen. She had no right to say Emma's name, to apologize.

Fingers tugged at Regina's coat reclaiming her attention once more. She looked down as she felt Emma stir in her arms. She was seeking warmth as she moved to bury her face at the nape of Regina's neck.

"'Gina," Emma muttered weakly. "You're…here."

"Yes," Regina breathed. "I'm here. Of course I'm here."

"You're…warm…" Emma managed before her words died down once more. Her hand fell loosely with only the tips of her fingers grazing the mayor's coat.

The sound of David gasping with relief along with Hook and Elsa was the last thing Regina heard before a cloud of purple smoke consumed both her and Emma.

**Tbc….**

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><p><strong>Let me know what cha think! <strong>

**Review please! It encourages the ideas! ;)**

**Part 2 will be up this weekend! Promise!**

**-Jasmk**


	2. Chapter 2

The second part. Enjoy! (I apologize for any errors)

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><p>Green eyes slowly fluttered open. The odd smell of burning wood in the air and the comforting aroma of apples and cinnamon were the first things she noticed. The second thing she noticed were the arms that were wrapped around her over the large blanket she was snuggled in. She was pressed against someone's body. Emma couldn't see who the person holding her was from the angle she was positioned in. The rising and falling coming from their chest she was resting her head on was warm and soothing. Their hot breath tickled the nape of her neck. It felt so strange yet welcoming; a feeling she could stay in forever.<p>

Emma could hardly move from the hold of the arms around her. She managed to wiggle back just enough to see the face of her guardian. Her breath caught in her throat with emotion. The woman she'd last thought of, the one she believed would never meet eye to eye with her again was soundly asleep before her. Regina's lips were slightly parted. She'd had her head against Emma's shoulder pressing herself against Emma, as close as the blanket between them would allow.

Emma went to move once more but froze as the arms around her stopped her.

"Don't even think about it," the husky voice of the other woman warned.

Emma looked up and found groggy brown eyes staring back at her. There was a strange look in them; one Emma wasn't used to when it came to Regina. There was no hate, no anger in them. They looked calm and for a rather comforting reason, content.

Emma was silent for a moment. The tears blurring her vision made it difficult to admire the small smile tugging at Regina's lips. The lump in her throat made it even harder to speak. Slowly she managed to free one of her hands and carefully raised it to the other woman's face. The tip of her fingers grazed over the mayor's cheek gently.

Emma was speechless, breathless. This moment was too surreal. The woman she had been in love with for the last three years was willing laying in the living room floor of her house in front of the fireplace, _holding_ her.

"Regina," Emma breathed. "You're here. I'm…we're… but what are…"

Regina remained quiet. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and leaned her head into the blonde's touch.

After Regina had transported them back to the mansion she'd been quick to cover Emma with the thickest and warmest blankets she owned. The fire she'd started earlier that night had remained burning to their luck. After wrapping the sheriff in a bundle of blankets Regina had set up a small arrangement of blankets and pillows in front of the fire for Emma to keep warm with. Once she healed the woman's most serious of wounds and had accommodated her by the fireplace she'd found that she wanted nothing more, _needed _nothing more than to hold Emma. Regina didn't even think twice about it before she found herself taking Emma in her arms and holding her as she slept. She'd fallen asleep with the woman safely in her arms in moments.

Emma had been ice cold. The amount of blood she'd lost from her leg had left her very weak. Regina managed to heal the wounds just in time. The leg wound would be sore for a quite a while, but it was salvaged. It had been pretty deep and with the amount of blood loss Emma was lucky enough not to have lost it with the freezing temperature she'd been exposed to. The damage to her temple had lightly been cleaned up. Being that Regina's main priority was to warm the woman she'd only quickly dismissed the wound with only a bandage, but from what she could see now the wound appeared to be bruising around the temple.

Regina had been so close to losing yet another important person in her life. She'd almost allowed the anger to blind her from seeing what had been in front of her the entire time. The signals had been present. The way Emma looked at her, talked to her, believed inher. She cared about her. She cared about her far more than Regina had thought to consider.

It didn't matter now though. All Regina wanted to do now was to keep Emma warm. She wanted to hold her and never her let her go. Never let her out of her sight and shield her from the world's harm. She chuckled softly as she reached up to take the woman's hand in her own. She brushed her lips over the now warm hand and looked directly into green eyes.

Regina was talking to her again. She was looking at her, _bearing_ with her. Emma couldn't understand why but it just felt right. She would take the insults, the yelling, the sarcastic comments, anything just to have Regina talk to her, look her in the eye, but the words were anything but angry. Why?

"Are you planning on finishing any of those sentences dear?"

Tears slipped down Emma's cheeks.

"Regina, I'm sorry. So sorry." She buried her face in the mayor's chest and began to cry. All she'd wanted to do since the diner was apologize to her. She'd wanted Regina to understand that despite her belief, she'd never meant for her to get hurt. She needed Regina to understand that all she wanted was for her to be happy. She wanted Regina to be happy because out of all the people in the forsaken town _Regina _deserved a happy ending with someone who loved her and appreciated her.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you," she sobbed. She was clutching the mayor's shirt tightly, her temple pressing against the woman's shoulder.

"I know, darling. I know," Regina tried to coo. "You just need to calm down now. You're still recovering from the hypothermic temperatures. You're hurt and you need to stay calm." She stroked the woman's blonde curls gently, her head angling in attempt to meet the distressed sheriff's gaze.

Green teary eyes looked up startled by the words. "You _know_? But how can you…how can you just…You couldn't even bear to look at me a week ago and now you're…" Emma sat up ignoring Regina's words, the blanket falling from around her.

Regina noticed the immediate shiver that ran down the woman and quickly mirrored her position not missing the way the sheriff winced in pain. She moved across to sit in front of the sheriff and slowly reached for the blanket to place it back on Emma's trembling figure.

"Emma," she began. "I'm not-"

"You're not what?" Emma cried in frustration. She was having a difficult understanding the situation. She had to be certain it wasn't all in her head. That Regina was really there with her and that it wasn't just some sick joke her brain was playing on her.

"I nearly froze to death today and the only thing, the only _person_ on my mind was you. You were all I could think about, Regina. You were the only person I wanted to see, wanted talk to, wanted to…and you didn't want to even look at me," Emma shook her head. "You _couldn't_ even look at me." Her hands were clutching the wrists of the ones holding the ends of the blanket over her back. "I just wanted you. I wanted to see you one last time. I wanted to…I needed you to understand that all I have ever wanted is for you to be happy. I know I screwed up. I didn't…I couldn't just let her die and I didn't even know you were seeing someone." Her lips curled down into a trembling frown as she did her best to control her emotions. "I didn't know you were seeing someone," her voice was small but desperate. Her hands released the hold they had on Regina's and her gaze dropped.

Regina could see how the weight of her anger had truly affected the woman. She sat silently with her shoulders sagging afraid to raise her gaze. Regina had known it was not going to be easy for the sheriff to understand. Emma knew Regina better than that. She wasn't the easy forgiving type. So how was it possible that she'd simple forgiven her now, after everything that had happened?

"You saved me," Emma spoke again after a moment. "You were there and you saved me." Green eyes were staring at her with such intensity Regina felt her heart beat furiously. It wasn't a question but more of a statement of acknowledgement Emma was trying to tell herself.

Regina moved closer to her and took her hand into her own. "I couldn't let you freeze to death, Emma," her voice was solemn. It was her turn to cry. The emotions she'd been suppressing all night were beginning to surface. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed the forest green eyes until that moment. How much she would have missed the way they felt like they could see straight into her soul, see the past all the walls she'd put up, and past the monster the people in town viewed her as. They saw the real her. In Emma's eyes she wasn't the evil queen, she was simply Regina.

"I don't know what you were doing out in the middle of the storm, Emma but I wasn't going to let you freeze to death for being reckless."

Emma looked away.

"Look at me please," Regina whispered. She waited for green eyes to meet brown and smiled warmly before continuing. "I was hurt, Emma. I was hurt and I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know−" She stopped herself and took a deep breathe to consider her next word.

Regina noticed the way green eyes grew watery after that statement.

"You wouldn't have known I was seeing Robin because I was keeping it quiet. I didn't want it to be out there until I was sure." Again Emma tried to look away but once more Regina refused to continue without eye contact.

"I let myself be fooled into believing he was my second chance at a happy ending when all this time what I truly needed has been right in front of me."

Emma let out a watery laugh. She must have hit her head pretty hard on the fall. She had to be misunderstanding Regina's words. "You can't mean−" She pulled away from her embrace refusing to fall into the cruel joke. She wasn't about to let her hopes rise only to have them completely shattered before her.

"No," Emma whispered. "You're just...You can't Regina. You can't just suddenly have a wake-up call and…_no_!" she shook her head and moved to stand. She quickly felt sick to her stomach as she stood, the wound to her head throbbing. "You were so angry. You were hurt and I-I get it, I fucked up, but please don't lie to my face, Regina. I'm not strong enough to handle another heartbreak. I just can't."

Regina stood, carefully keeping the space between them. Emma was trembling as she paced back and forth. The sweats and tank top she'd replaced the woman's cloth held little to no protection to the cold. "Emma you really need to calm down. You took a rather hard hit to the head and I haven't had the chance to see the depths of the affect it may have ca-"

"Is that it," Emma cut her off. "The hit to my head; I must be going crazy. Of course I am. In no right world would you care for me," she muttered to herself. "Not the way I… I'm such an idiot." She cried and shook her head.

"Emma," Regina tried again. "Please calm down. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Scream at me."

Regina was baffled and furrowed her brows in confusion. "What?"

"Scream at me, tell me off. Do it," Emma stepped closer to her. "Tell me that you hate me. That I ruined your life and that I'm just like my mother."

Regina stepped back and Emma followed. "You're out of your mind, Em-"

"Why do you keep calling me _that_? You always call me Miss Swan even if it makes me- You never call me Emma," she caught herself. "Why now?"

Regina was beginning to grow impatient. Emma was going to hurt herself if she didn't get a hold of herself. "You need to calm down and sit down. We can talk about this later, Em-"

"_Miss Swan_! It's Miss Swan! Stop calling me Emma! Just stop!" Emma cried. "Stop opening yourself to me and then suddenly pushing me away, Regina. I just can't do this anymore!" she shook her head, her vision blurring with tears but she continued to ignore it. "I'm probably slowly freezing to death at this very moment and dreaming of you and I'm…I'm yelling at you," she turned away and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I've wanted to talk to you for weeks and now that I am…"

"Emma," Regina spoke slowly.

"This is some sick game my mind is playing with me I just…" Emma looked straight into the brown eyes for a moment. She was near hyperventilating. The green eyes were overwhelmed by the exhaustion her body had taken earlier and the stress she was currently undergoing. "I just can't. I can't handle the silence from you anymore. You've ignored me for weeks, avoided me, and all but considered me dead to you," her voice was cracking, the lump in her throat threatening to consume her. "I-if this is just another damn dream I don't know how I'll be able to cope with myself anymore."

_Another_? How many times had Emma dreamt of them speaking? How often did they happen? Regina was speechless for a moment, caught off guard by the woman's confession.

"I'll take your yelling, your screaming, even a damn fireball if it'll make you feel better but fuck I just need you to talk to me, Regina. I need this not to be a fucking dream and for it to be real. The silence is killing me. I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I feel like a fucking zombie walking around without you in my life and- _Fuck_! I know it's my damn fault. I did this. I ruined everything! I- I'm not excusing myself. I know I fucked up. I fucked up horribly and I just don't know how to breathe anymore! I know you don't want to hear what I have to say but…I- damn it," she hated the mess she'd become. The tears wouldn't stop. She was shaking and she couldn't get a hold of her emotions. "I'll suck it up even if only to have you tell me you no longer want me in your life but please please _please_ just talk to me!"

The sobbing sheriff collapsed on her knees. She ignored the stinging from her leg and curled into herself as she continued to cry.

Regina remained silent. She watched as the woman broke down before her. How had she failed to notice this? She failed to notice how much the guilt and _self-hatred_ had eaten at the young woman. She'd thought of so many things she'd want to say to the sheriff when the time came but as it presented itself and really exposed how much it meant to Emma having hurt Regina, Regina could only feel her heart ache. Regina had done so much worse willingly and never had she dared to linger on how the others had been hurt by her actions.

Emma had never demanded an apology from her for having grown up in this cruel world. She'd never brought it up nor held it against Regina. It dawned on Regina that Emma never held a grudge for the way _her _life had turned out because of the curse she casted. Despite having so many reasons to hurt Regina, to call it _even, _Emma wasn't looking at the picture like that. She hated _herself_ for hurting Regina. She hated herself.

Emma wiped away at her cheek harshly. She inhaled sharply trying to regulate her breathing. "I'm such an idiot," she muttered to herself. "All I do is destroy and hurt those I care about." She looked down at her hands. "If you'd…" her voice was calm now. "If you'd seen the way she looked at me. The way _you_ looked at me," she finally looked up. She'd stopped crying with only the hints of tears hiding beneath her eyelashes. "It was like a part of me broke that night. I'd hurt you once before that and there I was doing it again."

Regina had remained glued to the spot unsure of what to say.

"You were so devastated," Emma continued. "You were so heartbroken and it was because I was so careless. I didn't think I just…did. Y-you didn't deserve that. You _don't_ deserve this heartache," she swallowed slowly. "I'm sorry," her gaze held such sincerity and remorse Regina could practically feel it. Emma smiled sadly. She made to reach out for the other woman but her hand closed half way in the air and dropped it like she was unworthy of touching the woman before her. "I should have told you when I had the chance."

Regina wasn't sure when she'd moved, but somehow she'd found herself mirroring the sheriff's kneeling position. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. Regina had shut Emma out in anger. She'd pushed her away and had wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. For nearly two months Regina had ignored Emma's presence. Not that Emma had made it difficult. After trying to apologize and talk to her Emma had understood she was not wanted around and quickly gave Regina the space she wanted. Despite the hurt she felt from being pushed away Emma obliged and removed herself from the mayor's life.

"Emma," Regina whispered. She carefully reached to brush away tears from a flushed cheek. "You need to listen to me. This isn't another one of your dreams. This is real. I'm here. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere," she assured her.

Emma was silent. She stared at auburn eyes for a moment allowing the words to sink in. A sob was muffled by her hand as she finally understood what Regina had been trying to tell her. Her hand carefully reached out to touch the hand over her cheek as it finally dawned on Emma. "You-"

"I've heard what you have to say, Emma and now it's my turn to speak," Regina gently told her. She'd heard more than enough; what she needed to hear. But now it was Emma's turn to listen. She had to understand, too.

"You can be infuriating, careless, and impulsive, but that does not make you a bad person," she swallowed attempting to clear her throat and gave Emma's hand a squeeze. "They make you who you are, Emma. You're a strong, brave, and kind hearted. And I-" Regina chuckled to herself. "I love all of that about you," she smiled that heart stopping smile Emma loved so much. "I know you, Emma Swan. You can be reckless, but not without a good intention, you can be infuriating, but with reason, and you're impulsive with a good cause. I know you didn't bring back Robin's wife to hurt me. You're not that kind of person. You don't do things to spite others, not intentionally. And I know there was no way of you knowing who she was. You are nothing like your mother."

Emma figure practically collapsed with relief

I nearly lost you tonight, Emma. I nearly lost you for being reckless myself. I was allowing myself to be blinded by my own anger." She tilted her head and gave a watery smile. "I realized tonight that I was never really angry with you. I was hurt by what you did, but I wasn't angry with you. I was angry with myself. I have trying for so long to find happiness for myself and it has been right in front this whole time." Regina smiled and cupped the side of the blonde's face gently. The back of her thumb stroked the warm cheek as she took the moment to just look at the beauty before her. "It's been you all along, Emma. It's always been you and I'm sorry it took you nearly dying for me to see it." She was shaking as she spoke. She held onto Emma's hand, intertwining their fingers together.

The corner of Emma's lips twitched. Her chin trembled with emotion as she took a moment to process what Regina had just said. The woman she'd be willing to die for wanted her too. She wanted _her_.

Emma breathed, tears pooling in her eyes. "Regina I−"

Her words were cut off by soft gentle lips against her own. Regina couldn't stand another second. She cut the woman off and pressed their lips together. She tried to convey and pour all of her feelings and for the young woman into the kiss.

"I love you, too," Regina whispered caressing the flushed woman's cheek.

Green eyes looked at her with wonder. The moment felt so surreal. Emma had only dreamed of the woman returning her feelings.

"You heard," Emma whispered as it dawned on her. "You heard everything." She shivered, the tank top she wore offering her little to no protection. Regina nodded. She brushed aside a blonde strand of hair and gently spoke. "There is still much to discuss darling, but there will be time for that all of that," Regina assured her. She adjusted the blanket properly over the woman's shoulders and moved them back in front of the fire place.

"We owe Elsa a thank you," Emma chuckled as she rested her head against Regina's shoulder.

Regina rolled her eyes and kissed the blonde's temple, a genuine smile crossed her lips for the first time in a long time. "I suppose we do, dear but for now let's worry about keeping you warm."

Emma hummed in response as gentle fingers ran through her blonde hair. She closed her eyes and allowed the serene clement of the fire and the woman she loved to keep her warm. Tomorrow would bring its battle but in that moment nothing else mattered.


End file.
